London Express

Transmission Starts...

Climb in, turn on, wait for the cold warning sign to go out.

Reverse out, turn in, join the traffic.

Coast on, warm the clutch in the traffic, warm the gearbox on the short-section M5, warm the suspension on the long sweep that dips and undulates as it leaves the M5 and joins the 417.

Cruise up the hill, stretch out the revolutions past the Air Balloon, hold back for the dip past the Golden Heart.

Duel Carriegeway with angry Focus close up. Every so often I can show him who's boss by flooring the PanzerWagen. I tell myself to let it go, let it pass, let it breath...

I pull over, let him pass. He sprints off into the distance. Today is not for sprinting or getting into silly pitch battles with reps on a mission. Today I'm going to London.

417 skirting Ciren, up the hill to Swindon, join the 419, turn off to M4, settle back to low warp. Switch on In Our Time, sit back and cruise.

Stop outside Reading. Coffee in Burger King, spot an Elise in Gulf colours, press on. Flow into London, past the Glaxo building, past the Porsche dealership, join the press of traffic. I sit in Kensington at the lights opposite the Bristol dealership. Ben Fogal sits next to me in a Mini Cooper S convertible. His chocolate labrador rests its chin on the door, looking bored and hot in the muggy, close 30 degree heat.

Summer in the city and the girls are pretty. They line the streets, I almost crash here and there. The North Circular does its job and I reach the East End, parking in the shadow of The Guerkin. A Guinness fuelled night ensues. We paint a pub with the songs of our youth. All ends and sleep comes.

Transmission interrupted..............

Redirecting..................73032783t...vyownt893wnuw52u...otn295tn2v835ut80............

Junction 235 > 237

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Transmission Resumes...

Wake up, breakfast in Brick lane, leave. About to join the North Circular but spot ClassicCarClub.com. Can't resist but to walk in. The creaking PanzerWagen barely fits in as two men manhandle a Cobra 427. It pops and gargles as a genuinely big man groans under the weight of moving that steering rack at low speed. I'm drunk on it. I walk in, ignored, touch the F355, the XJR, the GT3, the Mustang, the E-type(s), the Ferrari(s). Amongst all is a ZT180 estate.

Ha.

Told you they're brilliant.

No one bats an eyelid as I get right under a ramped and stripped E-type. I touch the sump of the glorious, cultured, legendary straight 6. The heart of one of the greatest sports cars ever made lies dormant above my head.

A Bentley Continental T sits big and proud dwarfing a P6. Always wanted both of those.

I stroll back out into the sunlight and engage in a 15 point turn in front of the mechanics. I'll bear they're grins better than putting a hole in a 360 Modena.

Pull out, join the circular, rush on, join the M4, spot an MR2 in Martini colours, cruise back in the heat. No air con, no matter. Worse things have happened at sea.

This is just one side of the story but for Auto Eclectic this is the whole side...

Transmission Ends...

Chatter

Transmission Starts...

Chatter, chatter, chatter.

All is talk.

You know when I said the Audi's steering is dead?

You know when I said it was non-communicative?

Well, here's a slice of my very own, home cooked humble tart.

There are two (so far) dimensions to good steering.

1st is resistance upon turn in. Does it weight up when you corner? Is that weight related to how hard and/or how fast you are cornering?

Or

Does it feel just the same?

The Audi doesn't have any of this.

Mute.

Dead.

Anyways,

2nd dimension.

this is 'chatter' through the steering column. Good tyres complemented by good suspension and a good (good) steering linkage can communicate the very slightest of tarmac imperfections. It can tell you what type of surface you are on and in turn how much grip is available. Together with a good 'seat of your pants' feel (I'll explain some other time) this is the essential difference between a Mk1 SLK and a Porsche Boxster.

Shocking really when I suddenly realised the Audi had been chatting away all along but I hadn't been listening.

oh well, it's done now, we understand each other a bit more.

Beyond the present tense there's a drive in the new Z4 on the horizon. Reviews have been positive, but how will it feel?

Transmission Ends...

The Whitler

Transmission Starts...

The Whittler whittles, but this is merely a detail in a much bigger picture.

Cryptic?

Me?

Yes.

Ok.

Ahem;

It was only a couple of evenings ago that I was sat in the Whittler's garden on a chair that he had made, surrounded by bits of yurt that he had worked on, in amongst an allotment that he and his friend Critical had planted. His first yurt had taken 18 months. His second, 3.

The point is that when you do something for the first time it always takes longer, involves more problems. Thankfully, so far, I haven't come up against any major problems with getting the WolfSled sorted for sale, but my goodness it's dragging.

Plus side?

I've made lots of new contacts and have had an SLK to drive about in on a roughly weekly basis. I suppose a road test should be in order...

Oh yes, I almost forgot. Someone new has started at the restaurant. He drives a Mini (BMW) Cooper. So that's another road test on the way.

Transmission Ends...

A to B

Transmission Starts....

Lesson No. 001 - Always Shop Around.

With a metaphorical wad of cash with which to service the WolfSled (the boss is known as the Wolf - if you met her...) in preparation for the sale I thought I'd dip my toe into dealing with Mercedes dealers. First call was to Mike Grimsby Mercedes on the Bristol Road in Gloucester. I had touched base with the former official Mercedes dealer a couple of weeks ago. He seemed honest and laid back. He put in a call to his sister business - Robin Lamb Mercedes.

Mike does the sellin', Robin does the repairin' (sorry - couldn't resist that).

Anyways, I was promised a call back from Robin.

Next stop, the local official Mercedes dealer. Again a return call was promised.

Mercedes Benz Hanza (although they are also listed in the Pages Yellow as Audi, Nissan etc Hanza) answered promptly with a mist of unfamiliar terminology. All of my questions were eventually answered, but it did take a sort of journalistic bullying to get any sort of strait reply.

Turns out there are two types of Mercedes service. A's are minor services ranging from £115 to £200 depending on where you go. B's are a little more serious and drum your account to the beat of £250+.

Although the WolfSled has only done 7000ish miles since the last service, it's been two long years. As the return calls started coming in everyone was insisting on a B, with Mercedes C and G (the official girls and boys) telling me she would need a fuel filter thrown into the mix.

I can't quite remember what Mr Lamb from the Bristol Road dealership said when I informed him of his former colleagues recommendation but it was something along the lines of;

"Those rascals".

Indeed a fuel filter should be changed every 50,000 miles or so. It's clearly stated in the service history that the last service had included this. Further to me mentioning this to the professionally friendly lady on the other end of a couple of satellites it should also be said that it states in the vehicle history that the last service had included a new fuel filter and had taken place at C and G. She had even called all of these details up on the screen to tell me this.

That's a code aubergine stroke fail in my book.

That's a a complete triangulation of coordinates to no thanks land.

I don't think I'll be going there any time soon.

So that's a win to Robin Lamb, we'll see how the actual experience goes....

Peeeee Esssssss

An honorable mention should go to MANN in Tewksbury for a friendly and competitive "A" price. Only unfamiliarity and distance had them shown the door.

Transmission Ends...